People who had more sex had lower blood pressure when performing an upsetting task. That’s because endorphins and oxytocin are released during sex. These pleasure hormones activate pleasure centers in the brain that help create pleasure and intimacy. Relaxation help staves off anxiety and depression. You don’t have to climax to reap the benefits. However, if you do climax, you will get the most significant outpouring of hormones.

Many women have problems with sex at some stage of their life. During pregnancy, after having a baby, and doing times of financial stress can be significant factors. Everyone responds differently. Financial stress is the worst. Physical and mental trauma are also known problems for intimacy. You could also have an overactive or underactive thyroid gland. If a woman’s testosterone levels decline, so will her sexual urge.

Lack of orgasms also kills motivation. Either you have never had an orgasm, or you have not had one in a long time. Reasons, why women can’t have orgasms but are not limited to include:

  • Lack of knowledge about sex and body stimulations. Get in touch with your body. Self-pleasure is healthy and normal,
  • Relationship problems can put a huge strain on intimacy
  • Depression or stress causes physical limitations
  • Prior traumatic experience especially when violence is a factor

Pain during sex is another problem. Pain during sex is also known as dyspareunia caused by vaginismus. Vaginismus causes the vagina to spasm, making intercourse painful and hopeless.

There are reasons why women lose their sexual drive. Sexual desire is a biological part of the attraction. Low sex drive is not limited to women. Men experience similar problems. If you are experiencing a problem in your emotional well-being, beliefs, lifestyle, and the current relationship, it can affect your desire for sexual intimacy. Typically, there are three reasons women lose their sexual motivation. Read below:

  1. Relationship struggles- when you are emotionally disconnected from your partner, conflicts and fights occur. Trust issues and bad communication of sexual desires and preferences arise.
  2. Internal emotional causes- when you have anger and resentment towards your partner, this can affect your sex drive. Stress and pressure from work can wipe out the urge, as well.
  3. Physical causes- weight gain, poor body image, and medication can limit sexual urges.

.Women can boost their libido by doing by using the following methods:

  1. Manage anxiety to the best of your ability
  2. Increase foreplay as a rule of thumb
  3. Eat nutritious food daily: 1/2 cup of fruit and 2 cups of vegetables
  4. Get plenty of sleep at least 8 hours for adults
  5. Exercise regularly- 3-5 times week for 30-minute intervals
  6. Maintain a healthy weight
  7. Talking to a licensed or counselor therapist on a consistent basis

One of the first things women should do is to have a truthful conversation with your healthcare provider. Don’t be embarrassed, we all experience changes with our bodies and sexual desires. It is your health care provider’s job to answer all the questions you have. I feel confident that they will start with a standard test.

I know of a woman who suspected that she may have a hypoactive sexual desire disorder based on her research. This woman is self- diagnosed; however, she should get diagnosed by her doctor. Not only is her partner sexually frustrated, but this woman has also taken a beating because of her lack of sexual motivation and her low self -esteem because of her body image. Unwanted weight gain or weight loss. Let us keep it real, HSDD affects millions of women. If you feel like you may be a woman who is affected by HSDD, contact your healthcare provider today.

“I would really encourage her to figure out who she can talk to and just bring it to the forefront and deal with it. “

– Sarah P., a woman with low sexual desire who has not been diagnosed with HSDD.

I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with you. You are not an anomaly. It may be that your partner contributing to your lack of desire. Your partner may be a great guy, but he simply does not get your juices flowing. The attraction is the big X in all relationships. Physical or mental. If the appeal is there, you don’t think twice about it. When the lure is missing, it can be hard to overcome. I have heard from married couples that sex is the dessert, not the main course. In other words, things change after being married for long periods. Bodies have thickened, and gravity has taken over.

The truth is we should not base our relationships on short-lived emotions. Sensuality and Passion are exciting, but these emotions wear off after about 18-24 months. Unless you know how to keep the fire burning in your relationship. Go have your test done and gain your sex life back. Self-pleasure is a tried and true way to achieve pleasure as well. Go for it! Once you learn to please yourself you can effectively communicate to your partner to what turns you on. Learn your hot spots.

E. Scott, MS. September 2019. The Multiple Links between Sex and Stress. Very Well mind.

M. R. Vann, MPH. “Seven Healthy Reasons You Should Have Sex Right Now.” Everyday Health.

S. Pappas. February 2011. “6 (0ther) Great things Sex Can Do For You.” Human Nature.

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