Don’t Come for Me
by Dr. Rechelle Nettles
The time has come for me to be truthful about how I feel about you. Thank you for taking the time out to meet me today. My objective will be to remain calm and be honest while making sure you understand why we needed to have this talk. Let me be noticeable without being emotional. You have been intrusive, hurtful, and broken up many families. See with you, I realize why boundaries are necessary, and I hope you appreciate me being straight forward.
Managing stress is the first step I have taken, and I will not apologize for my feelings towards you. You are the reason my mother and sister have expired. You took my husband in his prime. My coworker’s friend’s marriage ended because she didn’t know she needed help controlling her behavior. I lost countless job opportunities because you made me feel insecure. And I am always at the doctor’s office because of unexplainable pains and illnesses. These are all facts, I am not going to sugar coat reality. I hold you accountable.
Now that I have your attention, let’s kick this Bitch out of our lives. I will no longer tolerate Cancer, Depression, Anxiety, Weight gain, Heart Disease, Bipolar illness, Self –Doubt, Fear, Bad health, rejection, and negative energy to have a presence in my life. I am not being unrealistic. I am being optimistic. There are steps we can all take to prevent these illnesses from affecting our lives, and it starts with changing your mindset to improve your health.
SELF CARE IS YOUR JOB, you need to get it right the first time.
Since we cannot pick our parents, we were not able to ensure our DNA makeup. Genetics don’t lie. However, a genetic predisposition that is often inherited from a parent makes us all susceptible to many common diseases, including obesity, cancer, diabetes, heart disease, and mental illness.
Self-doubt and fear, on the other hand, are two roadblocks you can disarm to have the success in life you want. A copious amount of the population is held hostage by self-doubt and fear. I fell victim myself. I learned that taking a risk and being courageous, I set a model for myself. The good news is you can do the same. Fear is merely internal energy that is expended. I allowed fear to limit my opportunities when I should have used fear as a chauffeur for new opportunities. Fear is simply a defense mechanism to shy away from things you feel will harm you. It is imperative to acknowledge one’s fear of breaking the dangerous cycle. Here are a few suggestions that can impact your health positively.
• Face your fears rather than run from them, one step at a time. The more we run from our fears, the further we travel away from our purpose. “All you need is a plan, a road map, and the courage to press on your destination”- Earl Nightingale
• Embrace self-doubt and failure as information learned- this type of fear is keeping you stuck. Try viewing self-doubt as a brief lesson.
• Connect with like-minded friends- there is power in numbers. Mission-driven individuals empower you to reach your goals. Have you heard the saying that you most like the five people who you spend the most time with?
“ If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” -Vincent Van Gogh
Anxiety is merely intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear in almost every situation. Increased heart palpations, sweat, and all of a sudden feeling tired may arise within you. You can conquer anxiety with self-treatment often. Physical activity, your diet, getting ample rest, and learning to relax will all help to reduce stress. I recommend removing caffeine from your diet, as well as alcohol and nicotine.
“Do what you can, with what you got, where you are.” -Theodore Roosevelt
“There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a nice cup of tea.” -Bernard- Paul Heroux
“My anxiety doesn’t come from thinking about the future but from wanting to control it.” -Hugh Prather, Notes to Myself ”
“SORROW LOOKS BACK, WORRY LOOKS AROUND, FAITH LOOKS UP.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Get to moving
Get you a gym membership and use it the same way you use your debit card. Stop wasting your money by obtaining monthly membership fees so that in your mind, you feel like you have accomplished something. You have not. Walk inside the gym.
I get that some of you are intimidated by the fitness equipment and the good looking people who seem to have it more together than you physically. They DON’T. We all have to start where we are. If the gym is not your thing, walk around the block. Seek out an accountability partner. One of my favorite things to do is to work out to one of my all-time favorite videos on Youtube. I do this on my floor at home.
Here are several things you can do at home to get healthy.
*Stop buying food with empty calories- buy perishable food items. My favorites are blueberries, strawberries, apples, bananas, and green veggies.
* Eat them, cook them, no excuses.
* Start where you are. If you don’t like going to the gym, find a space in your home to get moving.
*YouTube has a variety of exercise videos that is within your reach.
* Get you an accountability partner. Someone you can walk with who has the same lifestyle that you have.
* Believe in yourself- you can do anything you set your mind to accomplish.
THE ONLY BAD WORKOUT IS THE ONE THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN
Cancer is the Bitch that will not go away. There is no denying the fact that this horrible disease is widespread and a significant cause of death. Medical researchers work tirelessly to find cures. We cannot wait for them to find a cure. We must learn that there is a connection to disease and diet. In most cases, you can reverse the damage. Yes, eating certain types of food will reduce your risks of becoming ill.
1. Spinach reduces liver and bladder cancer risk.
2. Tumeric, a spoon full a day is sufficient will help impede tumors.
3. Tomatoes have an outstanding medical role. Lycopene chemicals found in plants lower the risk of a range of cancers.
4. Eat more onions and leeks. Onions have high levels of antioxidants and leeks are high in vitamins A, C, and K and can help prevent blood clots.
5. Garlic has preventative qualities and will protect you from a variety of diseases.
6. Watercress has a substance to help prevent damage to DNA.
7. Green tea over coffee. Green tea helps fight off certain types of cancer.
We will get through this together you are not alone.
You are what you eat but continue to get regular physicals annually along with blood work.
You are unique, but you are not alone if you are dealing with mental health issues. Depression is a real problem, and you should be able to recognize when you are falling victim to this illness. Ask yourself, are you doing any of these things.
*Feeling hopeless and isolating yourself from people.
*Trouble with falling asleep is a common sign.
*Tired all the time feeling as if you never get enough rest.
*Poor appetite not having the desire to eat.
*Difficulty concentrating and paying attention.
*Thoughts of being better off dead and that no one will miss you.
If you are dealing with depression, it drains your energy, hope, and drive. Sometimes the mere thought of doing things such as spending time with friends or exercising seems impossible. The catch is the things that the most difficult things to do will help you the most. There is a difference between doing difficult things and useless things. Taking the first step will always be the hardest. Turn on some music, your favorite and get to moving.
“There is hope, even when your brain tells you there isn’t.” -John Green
I am not an expert on anything but being a woman. I am merely providing suggestions to help your overall health by incorporating healthy habits. In the last Bitch, I will deal with someone who is bipolar. This psychological condition is complicated, and there is actually more than one type. Know this:
1. Bipolar is not rare there are a lot of people who have not been diagnosed
2. It’s more than mood swings
3. You can still be successful, your condition does not define the outcome of your life
4. Mood swings are not always frequent
5. There are four types of bipolar known
6. Children can be bipolar and all involve episodes of depression
7. Early diagnosis is the key to coping
8. There is no bipolar test
9. Medication will not cure the disorder it may or may not help though
10. You have some control over it when you understand your condition
Please check out:
“We’re not crazy or insane. We are just people living with a condition.” -HealthyPlace.com
We are taking steps to take control of our lives by incorporating good habits and staying informed with solutions to overcome these medical issues. Don’t let depression, cancer, mental illness, heart disease, and inadequate health be the Bitch that runs your life. Please share your insight on how we can improve our experience by incorporating healthy habits. I will wait.
DK Mayer, NC Terrin, GL Kreps, U Menon. “Cancer Survivors information seeking behaviors: a comparison of survivors who do and do not seek information about cancer.” Patient Education 2007.
KB Wright, L Sparks, HD Ohair- 2012. Health Communication in the 21st century.
J Neiderdeppe, RC Hornik, BJelly. Examining the dimensions of cancer- related information seeking and scanning behavior Health 2007 Taylor and Francis
LG Block, SA Grier, TL Childers. From Nutrients to nurturance: “A conceptual introduction to food well being. ” Journal of Public Health. 2011- Journal.sagepub.com