Are you the life of the party, or the party thrower? Let me show you how to date your spouse in the process. Be the person that makes everyone feel included, especially your spouse. I know for a fact that good food and music will bring even enemies together. Friday night, a girlfriend of mine cooked gumbo and invited a few of the women who live in my subdivision. My friend, who should remain nameless is always creating a space to fellowship for women. However, she does not exclude men. They don’t always show up. The quality that I love about her the most is not only does she provides a fun, comfortable space for everyone, but Miss thing is the life of the party …literally. Her husband is a businessman who works continuously and is not the best at dating his wife. I can tell that sister girl keeps the fire burning in their marriage by creating a space for couples to assemble and to keep her hubby engaged. Don’t be fooled by my language. These people believe in God but will take a shot of tequila down after having a group prayer. Don’t judge us!

I have learned that when you are married, you must make time for your spouse no matter what.  Work schedules are busy, kids are parasites (in the right way), and we are all tired in the process. You may have to get creative by turning errands into dates, be okay with being cheap and watching Netflix while having a bottle of wine from Costco now and then.

 While most women tend to provide ideas for dating your spouse, many men do a better job at it, but only in a few instances that I am aware of lol. After speaking with a male co-worker, I learned that he dates his wife by making her feel special. Chivalry isn’t dead, and women still love it when men send flowers to her office or the house. My favorite flower is a red rose. Hopeless romantic. What is your favorite flower?

Unfortunately, along the way, couples let their routines and parenting obligations get in the form of their role of being romantic partners. That good feeling fizzles over time. Most women I know want to recapture that electric feeling you once had with your partner. There is a longing to recreate the intimacy that date night provided. Remember how you used to call a friend to ask for advice on which dress to wear. The red one or the black one? The little black dress always wins hands down. Date night is not only fun; it will assure attacks on your marriage. 

Another way to date your spouse is to be a mystery. On Friday night, when your parents have the kiddos, burn that unique candle you have been waiting to enjoy. When your husband gets home from work, greet him at the door in a nightgown that your sorority sister bought as a gift at the bachelorette shower. You know the one you have been saving for that special occasion (eight years later). I get it you are tired. And like most women, I know you believe me when I say you are reasonable, you are not an anomaly.

Here are my suggestions for dating your spouse. 

•Make sure date night is in the budget. Don’t allow the family financial obligations to deter you from adding date night to family expenses.

•Determine a day of the week as date night no matter what. My date night with my husband is on Thursdays. We may go to the movies, or catch a Netflix original on television once the kids are asleep. There is one rule. No falling asleep before the movie ends.

•Both husband and wife have to be in charge of planning. Rotate.

•Make a special effort to dress up for date night. You cannot wear your favorite tunic and leggings. Well, maybe you can if you pair them with hoops, pumps, and your lip popping red lipstick.

•Here is a tough one. Turn off all cell phones. But not before you have the waiter to take a picture of the two of you.

•It may sound like a drag but plan your date night conversation. No politics. No religion. No sports. Pop culture is.

•Drive-in movies are still an option in some cities.

•Catch your local sports team. High school sports are exciting for everyone. Leave your kids at home.

•Schedule a time to go through your wedding photo album.

•Drive to a neighborhood where you plan to buy your next home for inspiration.

.•Try a different restaurant. 

•My absolute favorite is to have a sunset picnic. 

•Write a letter.

•Take a dance class together.

•Put some thought into your dates and be affectionate.

Trust me when I say this shit works. OOPS did I use profanity? 

Now that I have got your attention, what are you going to do to start dating your spouse?  And don’t be shy about asking for help. I am open to questions.



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